You have so much more self-control than I have. Personally, I think I would have strangled the man while hissing, “How’s THAT for adventurous, you twat?”
with the greatest of compliments to you as a writer (and someone with evidently crazy endurance), i will say that i winced painfully through this entire read
Good one Rosana. I fled many dates early. Particularly the dreaded Match.com dates in the early days when it was so evident that people used 10 year old (or more) pictures in their profiles. I would simply get up and walk out when I saw the misrepresented person walk through the door. “Nope.”
I think a lot of the pieces are devastating in one way or another. I sometimes think I overdo it but then where else will the comedy come in? Not from moments of joy surely. Thanks for reading :)
I have been on this date!!! I have the same problem as far as not just LEAVING! I will add that back in the day when I was dating - it was Man picks up Woman / ughhh! I was born too early!! I suffered through these and I can tell you from experience- this guy would have grown 15 more arms and 20 more HANDS!
I’m am happily with the man I love and we are the rare forever couple. We met at work and were the best of friends before we became a couple. After reading this - I am even more happy I do not have to deal with this kind of date ever again!!
thanks Pamela, for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and what better gift than the one of gratitude for your own situation. Good to hear I've accidentally spread some good vibes
I haven’t dated in over 20 years, but this brought me right back to sitting through similar dates with insufferable oafs. As I read your story, I couldn’t help but wonder “who DO guys like Callum end up with?!”
I feel that I maybe should've given him a likeable hobby or something, his depiction seems unfair in hindsight but there it is! And thank you for reading!
Decades ago, I had a date with a guy I nicknamed "the Giggler." I met him through Mensa--no lie. I have a physical disability, and my dating experience was pretty limited. Since we were both in Mensa, we might be able to have an interesting conversation at least.
He was super passive about choosing where to go for dinner, so we went to a Chinese restaurant that I liked. I think he paid, but I was prepared to pay. Life had taught me always to be ready to pay--sometimes, in more ways than one.
During dinner, he did not attempt to make conversation, and I heard myself babbling like an idiot--which is not my preferred mode of communication.
When we returned to my apartment, I asked him if he wanted coffee, and to my amazement, he said yes. To my further surprise, he "pounced" on me--not in a terribly aggressive way. More in a giggly and fumbly way. As the kids say today, I was "thirsty," but I felt zero connection with him. It was as though I was watching the whole thing from afar.
After a little more fumbling, he left--he had a long drive. And I chalked it up to a weirdness I wouldn't need to repeat.
Much to my shock, he phoned for a second date. I decided to give it one more chance, partly because I was most often the one on the business end of rejection.
Alas, it was not to be. Even though one of my closest friends urged me to continue seeing the Giggler just for the stories, I had to end it.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ....... you are not the villain but the hero. Let's just call this move 'the notebook' and work out different people we could use it on. Do the possibilities extend further than bad dates?
You have so much more self-control than I have. Personally, I think I would have strangled the man while hissing, “How’s THAT for adventurous, you twat?”
Should we have more or less self-control on dates? That might take some time to unpack! Thanks for reading along!
I think it frankly depends on your willingness (or lack thereof) to be arrested. ;)
with the greatest of compliments to you as a writer (and someone with evidently crazy endurance), i will say that i winced painfully through this entire read
endurance in regards to sticking with the date, or how long this took to write? Either way, very much appreciated!
You have some of the best comments as well as your own story! Love it!
Good one Rosana. I fled many dates early. Particularly the dreaded Match.com dates in the early days when it was so evident that people used 10 year old (or more) pictures in their profiles. I would simply get up and walk out when I saw the misrepresented person walk through the door. “Nope.”
gosh, sounds stressful! Yes, the world of dating is filled with adventure
🤷🏻♂️ grateful I don’t have to play the game anymore
Haha, oh my god this date is devastating! I'm glad you made it out alive.
I love the line:
"I consider taking my notebook out so he can help me write the male character assassination of himself. "
I think a lot of the pieces are devastating in one way or another. I sometimes think I overdo it but then where else will the comedy come in? Not from moments of joy surely. Thanks for reading :)
I don't think you overdid it at all. The intensity of it all was great. I really felt like I was there, suffering beside you, haha.
oh, that's so nice to hear. I appreciate any feedback, honestly but I'll take intensity any day.
I haven’t dated in ages, thank god. ( marriage can sometimes seem like a bad date that lasts too long) This was funny. I enjoyed it.
thank you Jeanne! (I can imagine what you mean although I have not tried marriage yet)
It does tend to lend itself to parentheticals(marriage).
The folds of his neck will, unfortunately, be with me forever.
ha ha. I think you should cast it away, it is not worth you carrying it as well as I.
I have been on this date!!! I have the same problem as far as not just LEAVING! I will add that back in the day when I was dating - it was Man picks up Woman / ughhh! I was born too early!! I suffered through these and I can tell you from experience- this guy would have grown 15 more arms and 20 more HANDS!
I’m am happily with the man I love and we are the rare forever couple. We met at work and were the best of friends before we became a couple. After reading this - I am even more happy I do not have to deal with this kind of date ever again!!
thanks Pamela, for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and what better gift than the one of gratitude for your own situation. Good to hear I've accidentally spread some good vibes
😂 yes I am filled with it - Gratitude I mean of course. Keep up the great stories! I will live vicariously through you!
OMG I would have done the same thing! He was so pompous! You didn't really waste your time. You wrote this great piece.
thanks Linda. He was rather a classic one altough I did embellish somewhat for the story. Thanks for reading
I haven’t dated in over 20 years, but this brought me right back to sitting through similar dates with insufferable oafs. As I read your story, I couldn’t help but wonder “who DO guys like Callum end up with?!”
Dismembered hostages, most likely.
Loved this! Thank you for not cutting your losses early, this time. Next time, do.
thanks for engaging with it! And yes, I shall - although worth suffering for the story perhaps...
Callum sounds like a bit of a bellend to be honest. In my opinion I think who ever asks the other person out on the date should pay the bill.
When you said he looks like a dentist who would use a pain killer I was reminded of Steve Martins dentist in Little Shop Of Horrors LOL.
I feel that I maybe should've given him a likeable hobby or something, his depiction seems unfair in hindsight but there it is! And thank you for reading!
Next time date a baker. He’ll smell nice and hopefully bring home baked delights.
And that’s okay. I enjoy reading anything and everything.
Leaving early is always an option, but it can be hard. Why suffer? Unless it’s for a good story afterwards?
Also, another great post 👌🏽🖤
"To distract myself from anger, I count his exhale. I get to 7 seconds."
Eight is the recommended amount, namely: 4-7-8. LOL
Decades ago, I had a date with a guy I nicknamed "the Giggler." I met him through Mensa--no lie. I have a physical disability, and my dating experience was pretty limited. Since we were both in Mensa, we might be able to have an interesting conversation at least.
He was super passive about choosing where to go for dinner, so we went to a Chinese restaurant that I liked. I think he paid, but I was prepared to pay. Life had taught me always to be ready to pay--sometimes, in more ways than one.
During dinner, he did not attempt to make conversation, and I heard myself babbling like an idiot--which is not my preferred mode of communication.
When we returned to my apartment, I asked him if he wanted coffee, and to my amazement, he said yes. To my further surprise, he "pounced" on me--not in a terribly aggressive way. More in a giggly and fumbly way. As the kids say today, I was "thirsty," but I felt zero connection with him. It was as though I was watching the whole thing from afar.
After a little more fumbling, he left--he had a long drive. And I chalked it up to a weirdness I wouldn't need to repeat.
Much to my shock, he phoned for a second date. I decided to give it one more chance, partly because I was most often the one on the business end of rejection.
Alas, it was not to be. Even though one of my closest friends urged me to continue seeing the Giggler just for the stories, I had to end it.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ....... you are not the villain but the hero. Let's just call this move 'the notebook' and work out different people we could use it on. Do the possibilities extend further than bad dates?